“Oh god I’m a monster” 20 students who r all procrastinating big projects say “same” simultaniousely and with the exact same tone.Everything is a joke so if u say “I subsist on the lifeblood of mankind” someone will go “lol what a mood”.If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that believes in ethical subjectivism and they’ll make u so angry u forget abt whatever the fuck was bothering u Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the campus Cryptid and Mascot.It would take u like 100 years to major in everything. “never seen in the light of the sun//sleeps all day & is awake at night” “can’t eat garlic” “dresses weird” “can’t enter your home uninvited” “won’t go into churches” “drinks weird red liquid” #there literally was a guy who bit someone’s neck at my university #in my last year #everyone was just like ‘CAMPUS CRYPTID’Īlso everybody is either always eating or never eating so not eating isn’t that weird If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English major.Literally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that always has gum and a stapler.College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over classical literature.

Firealpaca